


The Trials and Tribulations of Being Stars of Both TV and Fanfic

by XmagicalX (Xparrot)



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Juvenilia, Meta, Other, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1997-06-20
Updated: 1997-06-20
Packaged: 2017-10-09 06:13:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/83896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xparrot/pseuds/XmagicalX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>See story title.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Trials and Tribulations of Being Stars of Both TV and Fanfic

**Author's Note:**

> _This story makes more sense if one is familiar with the [Gossamer Project](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Gossamer_Project) fic archive and their various genre labels. "X" is for X-file   
> (case-based adventures); "A" is for angst and "V" for vignette._
> 
> * * *
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Mulder and Scully belong entirely to Chris Carter,  
> 10-13 Productions, and FOX. More to the first two though. Since  
> only those three can do anything official with them, and we know  
> they can't be FOX's very much because M&amp;S aren't in bed together.   
> I've borrowed them to do stuff myself, but I don't own them. All  
> I own in this fictional universe is the copyright to this story  
> (c) 1997. Everybody understand? Good!
> 
> Summary: Actually, the title says it all...
> 
> Little Author's Note: Okay, I've tried to do humor again, except  
> this time it got out of my control a bit and gets almost angsty,  
> and I'd categorize it as SHA except no one goes to that category  
> 'cuz it's always empty. So, sneaky me, I decided it was humor.   
> Whatever else it is, it's weird! (And I have no idea where it  
> came from, though it does owe something to Pellinor's "The Awful  
> Truth" in an odd way...I read that just before writing this. ;)
> 
> Dedicated to the Gossamer project, may it post fanfic forever and  
> never crash or be shut down, and to all the wonderful  
> administrators of it--you rock!

Mulder looked down at the case file. Eyes on the desk he said,  
"Scully, marry me."

"What?" his partner gasped.

He summoned his courage and looked her in the eyes. "Will you  
marry me?" he asked in a quiet voice.

"Oh, Mulder--"

"Fox," he corrected. "Will you?"

"Oh Fox, yes, yes!" And she leapt into his arms.

After about a minute she dropped out of them. "Leaping. I don't  
believe it. Now I'm *leaping* into your arms."

"Well, you did agree to marry me rather enthusiastically."

Scully rolled her eyes. "I was *trying* to make up for your lack  
of enthusiasm, Mulder."

"Sorry," he mumbled. "After about the fiftieth time popping the  
question becomes something of a monotony, you know?"

She sighed. "I know. I almost always am the one saying yes,  
remember. I get bored too--"

"Would you rather I asked somebody else?" he asked mischievously.

"Well..." Scully shrugged. "I'd pity the bride-to-be--"

Mulder threw a sarcastic grin in her direction. She treasured it  
for a brief instant; relaxing like this was an increasingly rare  
circumstance, and she honestly enjoyed the times she and her  
partner could just be themselves.

"So when do we have the wedding?" she asked, getting back to  
work.

Mulder frowned, consulting his inner schedule, the one on the  
hardrive-of-a-memory he possessed. The last one had been his  
responsibility, being from his point of view, so he knew all the  
relevant data. "Actually, we don't have a wedding."

"No?"

He shook his head. "No sequel in the works, even. It's all done  
with!"

"Thank God!" Her voice echoed his relief. "Those weddings are  
even harder on me than they are on you." She didn't let him  
protest. "Yes, I know you have to struggle into those tuxes, but  
I'm the one who gets kidnapped."

It was his turn to roll his eyes. "Not that often. And anyhow,  
I've been in plenty more weddings than you have."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really," he insisted. "I mean, think of how many times I've  
married Melissa."

A smile played along Scully's lips. That was one advantage, she  
supposed. If she had a normal life, she wouldn't ever see her  
dead sister again. "When's the next time she'll turn up?"

"Don't know. Next alt universe maybe, but those are hard to  
predict. You've got the next big one, I think. What is it?"

Scully checked her hardrive, the one on her computer since she  
lacked the eidetic memory of her partner. "Oh. Here it is.   
Long one."

"Any summary at all?"

Scully watched as the print slowly loaded onto the screen. "Not  
romance," she announced, raising her eyebrows in surprise.

"Classification?"

"X. X-file."

He smiled. Those were his favorite, she knew.

She experienced disappointment when the file finished  
downloading. "Wait, there's more." Scully looked up, sapphire  
eyes meeting bronze ones. "It's XA."

Mulder's head dropped to the table. In a tiny voice he repeated,  
"XA?"

"I'm sorry, Mulder. No summary yet."

"Oh god. Find me a vignette, please. I feel like exhibiting some  
Angst right now."

"You want a VA?" Scully queried. "With me in the office with  
you?"

"A nice teary one," Mulder specified.

"Not likely, unless--" She considered. "There might be a VHA that  
would fit."

"Humor, yeah right." He pushed out of his chair and began  
stalking around the office.

Scully regarded him sympathetically. "Maybe this one won't be so  
bad."

"X*A*," Mulder snarled. "With a big huge capital 'A.'"

"It could be me," Scully snapped back. "You don't have the  
monopoly on angst--"

"Tell that to them!" he shouted, waving randomly around,  
indicating an omnipresent force.

"They hurt me too, you know!"

"Only to make me react! I swear, that's all they care about.   
Screwing with my psyche. They don't care if they have to knock  
you out or put you in another coma or have you kidnapped by  
aliens or serial killers--"

"None of that's a picnic for me," Scully growled.

"I know." Mulder plunked himself back in his chair. "I know.   
Geeze, Scully, the reason it's angst is because I do worry about  
you. I don't like you experiencing all that. I may not want to  
marry you but you are my partner and..." He trailed off. "You  
know what I really hate?" he said in a more contemplative tone.  
"It's that we can't even have a conversation like this without it  
feeling utterly rehearsed."

"Deja vu," Scully murmured.

"Yeah, except we don't *think* we've done it before, we *have*  
done it before."

"Yes, haven't we," Scully said. And flashed him a very slight,  
very wicked grin, to let him know that the innuendo was not  
accidental.

He cocked an eyebrow at her, and she was satisfied that she had  
gotten him off the A, at least for the moment. "I admit there are  
some parts of this that aren't horrendous..."

"And then again..." Scully couldn't help but shudder. "I'm  
thanking just about everything that I haven't been put with  
Frohike yet. I wish there were fewer major males around,  
sometimes..."

"*You* wish?" Mulder remarked. "What about *me*?" He leaned  
back. "But if we're going into the daily gripe..."

"What's your complaint of the day?" For this they put up with any  
complaint, large or small. It was useful to have someone to  
unload upon, someone who understood. Scully wondered if the  
others had people as well to talk to. Who did Skinner get it out  
of his system with, for instance?

Of course they didn't have as large roles, so they didn't have  
quite as much to complain about...

"My complaint," Mulder announced, "is that I can't exercise any  
more. We're so busy that I don't have room in my schedule. The  
last time I went for a jog was about two weeks ago, and after  
that the sport's lost some of its appeal..."

"Oh, what happened?"

Mulder grimaced. "Let's just say there was a slash SR with Krycek  
that I escaped by about one inch and leave it at that."

Scully nodded understandingly. Then she sighed. "Mulder, I'd  
sincerely love to chat all day, but we better get started on  
this," and she tapped the computer screen.

"Alright." He took a deep breath. "Okay. Where do we begin?"

"Skinner's office." The two agents stood and filed out of the  
basement.

"I just hope it's some psychic phenomenon," Mulder muttered. "A  
nice thing in which the angst is all physical pain. Maybe I  
break a leg or something in a blizzard and you get to worry about  
me."

"It's XA, not TA," Scully replied. "Though that'd be much  
better..."

"Don't get your hopes up," he partner advised with a thin smile.   
"With our luck it's some serial alien killer and I'll go out of  
my mind trying to track him, you'll have to hold me down, and to  
boot Samantha's clone will come down and die in my arms."

"Have you ever heard of thinking optimistically?"

"About XA?" Mulder rubbed his face. "Seriously, Scully, think  
optimistically? When our lives are completely out of our  
control? I liked it a lot better when Fate dominated, she was  
kinder than them."

"At least we had the illusion of free will," Scully agreed, and  
then moaned. "Listen to me. Stop bringing us both down. We have  
to work on this. Now, I bet if we tried we could fit in maybe  
five vignettes, if it's long enough."

"If it's long enough, we could manage a story or two," Mulder  
continued with the thought. "And more than five, Scully. Bet you  
five bucks with this we can do at least eight VAs and/or VHs.   
Maybe even ten."

"You're on!" Scully said, and they shook hands, sealing the bet.  
"That's too many. This isn't going to be a month-long deal."

"You hope." Mulder expression was a study in resignation.

They neared the office of AD Skinner. His secretary stopped them  
at the door. "Agent Mulder, Agent Scully? Do you have an  
appointment?"

"No," Mulder began, and Scully was about to explain their mission  
when the secretary spoke again.

"Good, because he doesn't want to be disturbed right now. And he  
left this for you." She handed Mulder a large golden envelope.

He opened it and brought out its contents, a note on a paper  
clipped to a case file. As he scanned the words his eyes  
widened. "Scully!"

"Yes?" This wasn't exactly a new sort of beginning. How many of  
these things started with a mysterious package?

She was startled to see Mulder grinning at her widely. "Look at  
this--we both lose the bet! Our calendar's clear for the next six  
days!"

"What? Give me that!"

She knew what it was before even reading the official letter. A  
true case file. And no title attached! "You mean--"

"Six days. That's the time we're allotted. Six days to act  
ourselves, to do what we want to instead of what we're written to  
do!" Mulder crowed.

Of course it would get a title. And all their actions would be  
monitored. But still--free will! Or the semblance thereof.   
Scully believed it was. She believed that in these rare  
instances, she did as she wanted.

Oh, they weren't happy times. Actually they tended to be some of  
the most stressful, what happened then. Like Melissa getting  
shot. "My cancer," Scully said suddenly. "I wonder if that will  
be involved--"

Mulder smiled at her. "It's a case for both of us," he assured  
her. "It won't interfere seriously, at any rate."

Scully eyed him. He had a bigger denial complex about that than  
she did. But still...he was so very sure. She wondered if he  
had ever found proof of his theory.

Quite some time ago he had mentioned that Fate in their case had  
a name, that even in these increasingly rare times that they were  
on a case and on their own, no directions or anything, something  
guided their actions.

Well, she didn't believe him, and he never had proof. And so  
they could enjoy themselves, being truly themselves. No matter  
how difficult the case, that aspect was by far better than a  
thousand and one marriage proposals and lovefests.

And did it matter that increasingly, Mulder was showing signs of  
worship, having faith in a greater power? So did she. Religion  
may not be the major aspect of her life, but it was an important  
element, and part of her was happy that Mulder was starting to  
share in it.

She considered this, as they climbed into the car and headed for  
the airport, Mulder already theorizing on their current case. He  
had taken up religion, but, in a typical Mulder-like way, his  
name for his deity was unique. Rather than referring to that one  
as God or Fate or Zeus or anything so mundane, he always called  
him "See See."

Well, no matter what name one used, Scully thought, that one  
deserves thanks. For six days they now had all to themselves, to  
solve a case, and they were let off the hook of the XA fanfic.

At least for now.


End file.
